i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
