I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
