my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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