dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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