I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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