dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
