The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
