I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
