I cockslap morals
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
