walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
