I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
