I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize