my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize