Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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