somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
