new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
