Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize