She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
