he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
