You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
