they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
