Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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