rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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