with your own penis?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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