I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
