it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
