You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
