come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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