that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
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he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You pole danced in your parka.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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