the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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