I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am midnight drunk by noon
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize