If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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