but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
