you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
