Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
