im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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