butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
