awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
