HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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