well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
