you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
