just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
