quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
