currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
