On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
