It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
