Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
