if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
