sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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