We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize