Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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