Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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