Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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