I love black thongs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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