Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
