it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You have to summon your inner elephant
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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