NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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