You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
