He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
