just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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