# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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