let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
