I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why didn't you poke me back
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
