Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
