I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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