How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
this will be a night to untag.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
