So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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