Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
